Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
