we're blogging at a bar
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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