i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
