yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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