im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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