to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
