I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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