I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
