dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The feeling are messing with the penis
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
