Screwed.edu
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
