remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
