what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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