After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
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I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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