nut hugger
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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