we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
time to smoke my breakfast
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
