You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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