I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
