Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
