Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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