the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
