Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
