so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize