Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just blew my weed a kiss
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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