Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
