His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
bring money and cleavage
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
