Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
