weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize