just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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