it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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