You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
