u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
