just tell him i said nine months
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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