I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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