You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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