well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
