NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
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im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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