grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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