Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
