How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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