these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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