Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
