He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize