Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize