Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
