so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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