Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
