even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
where does the pee come out of this thing
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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