he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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