he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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