its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
