carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Im part way to drunk.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We are all done wearing pants today
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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