Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize