Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
