They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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