how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
