return my video game
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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