It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize